My attempts at self promotion have met with great success as my social media standing has garnered lots of press. My plaids and stripes ensemble has met with such acclaim because when I appear in public people are calling me by name. “Hey Dork” or “What a Nerd” are salutations I often hear and people step aside the closer I get near. My need to conserve water and abstain from daily bathing has kept me quite adrift from the normal ego scathing. My acne and the wrinkles just add to my persona, plus no one’s out in public during summer in Arizona. If I could be a guest on a variety of podcasts, I could become well known because I’m told I’m full of “bombast.” I’m hoping for a reality show with a very scripted life because my current existence is causing lots of strife.