I Wonder How - ON WRITING AND RUNNING

I wonder how I reached this point in my existence
Almost every action is subject to self-resistance
I've always had self-doubt, that seems the status quo
But now that I am older it's hard to let things go
Sifting through the cluttered mess that used to be my mind
It's hard to focus on today and leave the past behind
So I'm struck by own plight as always insecure
With choices rather shaky and always immature
But looking at the future, there really isn't much
I feel so isolated and really out of touch